


Staying Up

by QuillCharm



Series: Staying Up [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5858416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillCharm/pseuds/QuillCharm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story was inspired by the song Staying Up by The Neighbourhood</p>
<p>Harry writes in the journal he stole from his cousin Dudley chronicling his life during his first year at Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Journal Entry 1

Dear Diary/Journal (?)  
　　　　I found this old journal in Dudley’s second bedroom filled with all his old and broken toys. I snuck in after going to the bathroom which was pretty crazy but I just had to look when Dudley was out for the day, Vernon was at work and Petunia was outside spying on one of the neighbours again. The books are the only thing in the room that does not look touched so I doubt he would even notice this missing.  
　　　　I have been living with my Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Cousin Dudley for the last ten years of my life. The first year of my life I lived with my father and mother, they died in a car crash and I was left with a lightening shaped scar on my forehead. I live in a cupboard under the stairs and am made to do the cooking, cleaning, and gardening. Gardening is lovely though because I do not have to be near my relatives whom I am pretty sure do not give a care for me. My uncle especially hates me and likes to hit me; my aunt just looks at me with contempt. Dudley takes after his father and enjoys beating me but I do not blame him completely he is just following what he sees. I also feel bad for him because on my uncle’s worst nights I am not the only one that gets hit around, he does too. However my aunt is always there to protect Dudley, never me, and my uncle always apologizes to Dudley once he is sober. He never apologizes to me.  
　　　　I am surprised I even lived this long. I guess they didn’t want to explain to the police why their nephew died of starvation at the age of two while Dudley looked like a whale. I have thought of running away but I would probably just starve more and I would have nowhere to go to get away from rain and snow. I do not have a death wish, but I am feeling more hopeless every year, yet also a little ray of hope for when I turn 18 and can leave and live on my own; they will probably kick me out on my birthday.   
　　　　It gets really bad at night when I go to my cupboard for the night and am locked in, and it makes me want to run away even more but I am trapped. I stare at the ceiling always having trouble going to sleep because my nightmares come then, and they are worse than my reality. I try to make myself really tired so that I do not dream but that doesn’t always work. There is nothing for me in this world but then I have the few lucky nights where I dream of a flying motorcycle or my mother. There is a light at the end of my tunnel when I dream of those things, that maybe there is something more out there where I will belong. However, those feelings quickly disappear throughout the day as do my mother’s words of, "Be strong," fade away to be forgotten until the next good dream that may or may not come. My nightmares almost always have a woman screaming and flashes of green light that leave me confused and scared with my heart going a mile a minute but sometimes I dream of being trapped in my cupboard with the house on fire and my uncle, aunt and cousin forgetting that I am in the cupboard and I cannot break the door open. That dream is even worse than the other one with the green light. And sometimes I cannot tell when I am asleep or when I am awake because in both I am being called names, beat and looked down upon by my family. I have to go to sleep, I have to wake up early to cook breakfast for my “family” tomorrow. It is Dudley’s birthday tomorrow.


	2. Journal Entry 2

**_Dear Diary/Journal (?)_ **

**_I am sorry for my slightly messy writing. Today was not a good day! I hurt so bad and I was beat for no reason. I guess I should start at the beginning._ **

**_Today was Dudley’s birthday and usually I am left at Miss Figg's but she couldn’t take me because she is at the hospital with a broken leg, she tripped over one of her dozens of cats. So I got to go with them to the zoo and everything was going good, I even got a popsicle but everything went wrong at the reptile part of the zoo. Vernon blamed me for what happened. I do not know why: how could I a ten year old boy make glass disappear and then reappear after letting a snake out and trapping my cousin inside the exhibit? They always blame me for things that cannot be explained. I hate my life. I think I finally have some glimmer of light and then everything changes, life hates me. It might be easier if Vernon actually did beat me to death. It is better then feeling all these bruises and of course he only hits where no one can see. And no one will believe me if I said anything, my teacher thought I was just exaggerating a spanking. NO ONE believes a child. I have to stop writing. I just want to sleep until the pain goes away._ **


	3. Journal Entry 3

Dear Journal,  
　　　　I decided to go with journal, I like the sound of it better. I got a letter today. Dudley took it away from me though and then Vernon took it from him. Dudley and me were both then shoved out of the kitchen. At least it was not just me.  
　　　　They will not let me see the letter, they sound scared though so they decided to move me to Dudley’s second bedroom. He was not happy but for the first time ever they said no and stayed with that answer even when Dudley said he would hold his breath till he was purple.  
　　　　So now I am in the bedroom and it is sooooo big. I cannot believe that I am missing my cupboard but I know they will not let me go back. They will call me ungrateful and beat me and lock me in the bedroom. So I decided to curl up in the wardrobe it feels so much better, not so much space.  
　　　　I wish I could have seen that letter!


	4. Journal Entry 4

Dear Journal,   
　　　　Well, Uncle went crazy or at least Dudley thinks so. It has been a while since I last wrote so I will go back to where I left off.  
　　　　Well, letters kept coming after that first day. More and more through every hole in the house. Vernon sealed the letter box but that did not keep them out they kept coming through the windows and the cracks in the door, he sealed those up too and we were basically in a house coffin. I could never get my hand on a letter which were now addressed to me in my new bedroom. Vernon would rip them and burn them so they could not be read. He finally went crazy according to Dudley when the letters came on a Sunday, post is not supposed to come on Sunday.  
　　　　We then drove around the whole country side, it seemed, looking for something which I think could only be found in Vernon’s head. We finally stopped at a hotel and lo and behold more post in the morning for me. We left to go driving that day. Next we ended up in stupid shack on an island in the middle of no where to the dismay of Dudley who was missing his shows. It was my birthday the next day.  
　　　　The strangest thing happened when a giant of a man burst down the door. Called my name and said I was a wizard. Me a wizard, I can do magic. I also found out Vernon and Petunia were lying about my parents; they did not die in a car crash, they were murdered. It was not really a surprise they lied to me though. Adults tend to do that. I left with the giant of a man named Hagrid even though he could be lying but I felt anywhere would be better than with them.  
　　　　Luckily, he was telling the truth and I ended up going to Diagon Alley where I bought my school supplies. Some kids were really into this broom, I thought that was weird until Hagrid told me about flying and a game called Quidditch. Met some goblins, kind of scary they own the bank, found out I am kinda rich and if Vernon knew about this earlier their would probably be none left. Even though they have a different money system. The ride down and back from my vault was literally a roller coaster. It was fun. Hagrid was not a big fan though. He had to pick up some item there too, school business and top secret cannot tell anyone kind of thing. Course I am writing it here because I am basically telling myself about it.   
　　　　I met a blonde boy where I was getting my school uniform, their uniform is better than Smeltings, but then again, anything is better then elephant skin looking clothes. No offense to elephants, looks good on them just on no one else. Anyway he seemed full of himself saying he would leave the school if he was in Hufflepuff and that Slytherin was the best. I do not think he should make those decisions until he sees for himself, but whatever.  
　　　　Everyone looked at me wherever we went, I am some type of celebrity even though I have not done anything I can remember doing. Wish there were less admiring eyes and calculating eyes. I am used to being ignored, so everyone looking at me makes me anxious. I feel like I am going to add fear of crowds to fear of large spaces.  
　　　　Hagrid got me a birthday present. Best one ever but that is not really hard to do. He got me an owl and I called her Hedwig. She is beautiful and my first friend.   
　　　　Now I am back at the Dursley’s till school starts. Hopefully Vernon will drive me, I have no idea if he will or not. Either keep me here so that I am unhappy or get rid of me which will increase their happiness its a win either way for him I think. Petunia will probably be happy about getting a freak away from her son. Dudley is just scared of me because Hagrid gave him a pig's tail so he probably wants me gone, but Vernon has the ultimate say. I will write later. Goodnight.


	5. Journal Entry 5

_**Dear Journal,** _

_**As you can see my writing is kinda off. Vernon beat me. I hurt so much. He was drinking. Dudley got hit once or twice before Petunia snuck him away by pushing me in front. I feel like I am dying. I feel like bruises are all over and think my wrist is sprained from when he threw me to the floor. He locked up all my school things in my cupboard and I wish I was in there with them. Hedwig got away out the window when he started going upstairs after he was done with me. I tried to hold him back, he kept saying she would taste just like quail. I jumped on his back as he was going up the stairs to try to stop him but he threw me off and I fell down the steps. I think my ankle is twisted. I am now locked in my bedroom, like locked lock, there has to be at least ten locks on my door. My window is also locked shut. All I have is my old blanket to wrap around myself and hope I go in my sleep. Sleep will get rid of the pain.** _


	6. Journal Entry 6

**_Dear Journal,_ **

**_It has been a few days since I last wrote. I am still in pain. My emotions are numb, I think I have cried all the tears of my life. I still have to do the chores. My wrist and ankle are still sore, but they do not care. My bruises are healing quickly and the small cuts probably because I am a wizard. I do not think they will be bringing me to the train. They still want to stamp the magic out of me. Probably the reason why the beatings are getting worse and worse._ **


	7. Journal Entry 7

**_Dear Journal_ **

**_I think I am going to try to heal myself even though I do not have my wand. Try to make my accidental magic work on purpose. Accidental magic is dumb like extreme emotions are supposed to set it off, I guess my fear and anger happen so much that it doesn’t work properly. Anyway here goes nothing, I am going to try to heal the bruise on my leg._ **

**_It worked, it bloody worked. Sorry for sweraring, actually I am not bloody bloody hell it worked. Not completely but it is not as dark and sore anymore, I am going to try more and then go to bed. Goodnight!_ **


	8. Journal Entry 8

**Dear Journal,**

**So I was able to heal myself some what. Wrist is not so sore anymore, my writing is easier to read at least. I left the twisted ankle if I was not at least seen some what hurt I would just be beat again and healing myself would just be pointless. No one has noticed that my bruises are less dark then they should be at this time which is good. Then again they try not to look at me for too long. I also thought I might get in trouble with the school for using magic outside of it, but no one has said anything, no one came to the house and no letters. Maybe it is because I did not use my wand or a specific spell so they do not notice it. Maybe there is something on our wands to tell someone if we use magic.**

**My days are the same over and over. Bathroom, make breakfast, get toast for myself and sometimes have jam, wash dishes, work in the garden (unless it is pouring rain outside), have a sandwich for lunch, bathroom break, dust the house (why that has to be done everyday is beyond me), clean the floors, have a break where I am usually running from Dudley, cook dinner (if there are no guests over), have the smallest portions of dinner to eat, wash all dishes, bathroom break and then locked into my bedroom. I have designated bathroom times no one else does, if they have to go they go so unfair especially when i am feeling unwell (Petunia adds in one maybe two extra bathroom breaks just so I do not make a mess, ridiculous). I am still not used to having this big bedroom. Some nights I sleep in the wardrobe it is more comfortable, I made myself a little nest at the bottom of the wardrobe. Hedwig is back she is in a tree in the neighbours backyard, she is just watching the house like a guard it makes me feel happy.**

**In my very first journal entry I said I like gardening. I decided to also say my least favourite chore which has to be dishes. I hate them, they make me think too much and just make me gloomy. I have got really good though, had to learn so I could get it done quick and get out of my head and also to get away from my relatives sooner. Cannot wait until I can use magic to do dishes it will be heaven. Have to go to sleep now, Aunt Petunia yelled at me to turn off my light. Goodnight.**


	9. Journal Entry 9

Dear Journal,  
　　　　I can’t believe it! Vernon and Petunia let me go onto the train. I’m on my way to Hogwarts right now. I have a train room to myself. It was kind of scary at first because they just dropped me off and I had to make my own way to the platform. However, there is no platform 9 3/4 on a sign and the workers at the train station are no help, they thought I was joking and just causing trouble but then this family who all had red hair walked by and I heard the Mom say muggles so I knew they were magic like me. She helped me onto the platform she has a son in my year too. You have to run in between platform 9 and 10 which makes sense for the 9 3/4. That was scary it would hurt if you can not get through. I wonder if a non-magic person can get through or if it goes back to being a solid wall they bump into. I will write more later the boy with red hair just asked if he could sit with me. I wonder if he will be my first friend?


	10. Journal Entry 10

Dear Journal,  
　　　　I am in my bed now. It is so big and beautiful. It is red and gold and really comfy I could stay in it forever.   
　　　　Today was so exciting and tiring and I really want to go to sleep but I am just to wired. I had the strangest sorting ever. I sat there for 10 minutes and then the hat asked to sort me at the end. I sat in the corner until finally Blaise Zabini was sorted into Slytherin. Ron and Hagrid both said that those in Slytherin are evil but that sounds odd. How can an 11 year old be Slytherin, they get booed. Maybe they are just living up to their reputation because that is what they have been told their whole lives they are. I believed I was a freak till I knew about this world now I know I am normal for this world, well more normal I am still a celebrity for something I do not remember. Ron my first friend was sorted into Gryffindor like his brothers before him. That Draco kid went into Slytherin really fast. I met him at the clothing store before school I still think he is full of himself but Ron should not have made fun of his name. I think Ron was suprised I told him off for that I think Draco was also surprised. Also surprised that I did not shake his hand and accept being friends (it was more like business partners the way he said it) I told him we could be acquaintances until we knew each other better by having an actual conversation. Draco’s bodyguards Crabbe and Goyle both got into Slytherin and the girl looking for a boys toad, her name is Hermione, went into Gryffindor she took a long time to sort too almost 5 minutes. I wonder what other house the hat was thinking of. Probably Ravenclaw, I learned that it is basically the smart house and she already knows spells (she fixed my glasses) and knew about the enchanted ceiling. Then again I would know too if my stuff was not locked up.   
　　　　Anyway at the end of the sorting I finally was sent back up to the sorting hat. Again the same conversation he said I would do well in all houses but especially in Gryffindor or Slytherin and he was stuck. I told him it would be nice to go to Gryffindor because Ron was there and because he is my first friend I ever had and Slytherin I was just acquaintances with Draco. The hat decided to not just only say that I was in Gryffindor but that I was the most difficult student to place as I had and embraced all the traits of the houses. The hat then yelled Gryffindor which gave a loud cheer. Once there the meal began. Ron introduced me to his brothers Percy and the twins Fred and George. Fred and George are funny but their booing of new Slytherins was pretty rude I did not know how to bring it up though. I got a nasty headache in the middle of dinner when I looked at the staff table. I learned the man by Professor Quirrell is Professor Snape, he was looking at me so intensely like he was trying to figure me out. I did not eat much there was too much. I tried to have a bite of everything but my stomach started getting upset too soon, I ate too much I have never had that much food that I can remember. Now I am in my dorm with my friend Ron and three other guys. Dean (who is muggleborn, it means from non-magical parents), Seamus (half-blood, mam’s a witch apparently it was a shock to his dad) and Neville (pure-blood like Ron, they grew up in the magical world and have both parents and grandparents as wizards and witches). Writing is starting to tire me out now. Classes start soon I am gonna try to do some reading so that I am not so behind. Goodnight!


	11. Journal Entry 11

_Dear Journal,_

_I thought the nightmares would end when I came to a new place but I guess I cannot escape them. If anything probably made them worse because now my mind knows about magic. I wonder if that green light is a spell or something. Its like 5 in the morning and no one is up it is hard to write because I do not want to turn on a light so all I am getting is a bit of the sunrise so my handwriting is probably really messy right now. I saw a woman with red hair in my dream, I could not see her face she was twirling all I saw was a twirl of red and all I felt was a longing sadness. I think I dreamed of myself older as well. He looked worried then broke out into a grin but it isn't my smile it is different somehow. They flashed by so quickly. Then there was that green light and an explosion and high pitched laughing and then I was at the Dursleys and back in the cupboard it felt so real. I woke up and thought I was there i was about to go start making breakfast when I realized the curtains around me and I do not think my nightmare woke anyone so I must not have screamed in this one. I think I have trained myself not to scream in dreams because screaming means the belt for waking people up. I wonder if that rule applies here. Probably not because Uncle Vernon is not in charge here. Probably just a loss of points. That is not even scary, detentions sound scary though I am going to stay away from those. It sound like the other boys are waking up so I am going to hide you now. Wish me luck at school!_


	12. Journal Entry 12

_Dear Journal,_

_It is the middle of the night. It has been awhile since I last wrote. I had another nightmare it changed. Quirrel’s turban made an appearance and a voice was whispering to me. I cannot remember what he said though. It was definitely a man._

_Classes went okay. Except for when Ron and I were late for McGonagall’s Transfiguration class and thought we were safe until she became herself after being a cat. It was really cool I wonder if I can become an animal I will have to look that up I feel like it would be very helpful. Maybe it can help me hide if I am small enough. I like the idea of a cat like Mcgonagall small enough to hide but have claws and teeth to attack if I need to. Also, Snape’s Potions class was scary. I feel like he watches me wherever I go no matter what I do. Sometimes filled with hate for some reason and then sometimes filled with worry, longing I do not know what I cannot think of the word. First thing he does when I am in his class is give me a pop quiz. Hermione obviously knew all the answers but he would not stop asking me and he called me a celebrity like I enjoy it or something. I knew one answer, thank goodness I did not look like a total fool. It was where to find a bezoar, it is inside a goat’s stomach by the way, it stops most poisons that sounds good to know maybe I should carry one around all the time. I think he was surprised I knew one there was a flash in his eyes I do not think anyone else saw._

_I feel like I should write more about my nightmares but I would rather forget but maybe writing will make it less scary and to understand them more. Again sorry for my horrible writing I only have a candle. So you already know about the green light and Quirrel’s turban there is not too much more. There is a woman saying my name I wonder who she is. Definitely not my Aunt. This woman sounds scared for me like she really cares for me and cannot get to me. There is only one person I can think of who would sound like that my mum. I do not know too many people so it must be her. After that dream there is always tears on my cheeks. Makes me miss her even though I do not remember her or knew her long. Sometime if I do not wake up at the point and keep on sleeping my dream changes and I am in complete darkness. Then I know I am in my cupboard but it is darker then usual and smaller if that is even possible and then hand reaches out of the darkness, long thin fingers but incredibly strong and he pulls me up and I know it is a he because his voice is deep. And then when I am pulled into the light I cannot see him because he is all in black and will not face me know matter how much I ask. I wish he would turn around. I feel this sense of love and I crave it so much when I wake up. I do not know which way to wake up is worse crying or wanting something I can never have not even in my dreams. Why is it that every time I sleep it is nightmares or if I tire myself out enough just blackness. I want dreams like the others of playing and just plain nice bizarreness._

_Hopefully classes continue to be good even though I think potions will be the hardest because Snape expects a lot. Hopefully my cooking skills helps. I think I hear someone moving so I will write another time._


	13. Journal Entry 13

Dear Journal,

I love flying! It is so easy for me and I feel so free like nothing can hurt me up there. I am in control. I was one of the first ones to get my broom off the ground, Draco was the same as me. Ron’s broom hit him in the face it was pretty funny once I knew he was ok. Hermione’s broom would just roll over same as Neville. Maybe the broom can feel your fear like a horse. It would not surprise me, magic is brilliant. Then we climbed onto our brooms and Madam Hooch walked around making sure our grips were correct. She said I was a natural, Draco needed a little change which he did not seem to like. He has been bragging about his flying skills so being told you were doing something wrong probably hurts, especially in front of everyone she should have said it quieter. That was the end of the good things from flying though. Next we were gonna learn how to hover. But Neville being scared kicked off early and then could not get back down. He ended up falling and hurting his wrist and has to go to the hospital wing. Madam Hooch left us warning us to stay on the ground so she could bring him. That is when Draco saw something on the ground it ended up being Neville’s remembrall. A fight happened because of it. Ron told Draco to give it back. If he asked nicer maybe Draco would of instead he said he would leave it somewhere for Neville to find. So I spoke up and asked nicely for the remembrall back, Draco’s eyes went really wide like he was not expecting it but the other Slytherins were just laughing and telling Draco to throw it and hide it so he got on his broom and flew in the air to the cheers of Slytherins and I decided to chase after him. I do not know why but I was a natural at flying the look of shock on Draco’s face was kind of funny and the cheers of the Gryffindors were amazing. Draco threw the remembrall and I flew after it and caught it before it would break the window I then flew back onto the ground. Everyone was shocked and then two professors came running across the lawn. Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape. That was the scariest sight I have ever seen I thought I was going to die, I accidently flinched and stepped back, Draco gave me an odd look. I need to be more careful around Draco. I do not want anyone to know about the Dursleys.

Professor Snape got to us first. He looked furious, not as scary as Uncle Vernon I got the feeling Snape would never hit me unlike my uncle. Snape was still intimidating thought. Then he was saying quietly (scarier than yelling just saying) why I thought it would be good to go flying and then he stared at Draco so the question was directed at both of us. So I told him everything, I do not lie, its best to tell the truth and deal with the punishment right away or you just feel like it is gonna come all the time and that is just too stressful. I tried that with my uncle, the punishment was just worse then if I said it right at the beginning. As I was telling my story Professor McGonagall was there. Both there faces looked shocked when I said it would never have happened if Madam Hooch did not leave a bunch of eleven year olds alone to bring one student to the hospital wing that another student could have done that job because he could walk it was just his wrist or she should have just cancelled the class for the day considering its almost time up and she is not even back yet. Everyone just looked at me like I grew another head or something. The professors said we were just getting a warning then McGonagall asked me to come with her and Snape started collecting the brooms and cleaning up while giving me this quizzical look. I followed McGonagall till we got to Quirrels classroom where she asked for Wood, I was confused till I found out it was a person and then I was going to be a seeker for the Gryffindor team. I am the youngest in a century it is soooo cool. Well it is almost bedtime so I am going to put you away for now Goodnight!


	14. Journal Entry 14

Dear Journal,

          Training with Oliver Wood is difficult.  I do not get trained as much as the others because I am a first year but I fear for the other years of school I have with Wood.  Quidditch is fun and our first game is coming up soon, it is against Slytherin.  Speaking of which Draco made the Slytherin team but as a reserve seeker as they already had a seeker chosen unlike in Gryffindor.  I think he is excited as well even though he had to do a detention for taking another students property and write a short essay on why it is wrong to take other peoples things.  I know this because I had the same detention and an essay to write on going for an adult for help instead of doing it myself as what I did was very dangerous and I was lucky I was a natural at flying.  Maybe I will go to an adult next time depends on the situation.  But most adults do no listen to kids maybe there is one here, I feel McGonagall might listen and Snape would listen but I do not know if he would do anything, I feel like he might secretly he seems like he likes secrets, maybe not like but like he can keep them easily.  Wow that last sentence had the word like a lot it made me laugh like really laugh (I wrote like again just for the fun of it).                                                                                                                                                                   Okay I was ignoring the main reason for me to write.  It is the middle of the night, I woke from a nightmare.  Not one with magic in it or is really weird you wake up scared and confused which just makes you more scared.  I was back at the Dursley’s locked in my room and I felt hunger again I have not felt truly hungry since I started at Hogwarts.  And I felt bruised and was hiding under my blankets as someone kept on hitting my door really hard where I felt like it was going to break.  My Uncle Vernon was yelling for me to open my door but how could I he was the one who locked the door.  I cannot unlock locks on the other side of the door.  Then the door banged open and Vernon charged in and came straight to me and Petunia went in between us he hit her so hard that she went flying to the floor and didn’t move, Dudley was screaming and Vernon was going back to me I woke up as he was about to hit me.    
          I woke up crying not because I was scared but because my dream Aunt put herself between him and me and got hurt because of it.  She has never before put herself in front of me, in front of Dudley yes.  She usually uses me as a shield to protect Dudley from the rare times Vernon goes after him after having too much to drink where the smallest things could make him angry, Dudley sniffled because he was sick and that got Vernon angry once.  I was also crying because I was happy she did that, she tried to help then I felt guilty because it is better me than anyone else.  I am so confused right now.  
          I don’t think I can go back to sleep I do not feel tired at all anymore.  My thoughts are still so confused writing has helped a little at least.  I think I am just going to stare at the top of my bed for now.  Write later, bye.


	15. Journal Entry 15

Dear Journal,

          Well Ron is asleep I do not know how considering what just happened I do not think I can sleep tonight I am too excited? Anxious? Scared? I do not really know the feeling it is all jumbled up.

          I guess I should start at the beginning. Somehow I ended up agreeing to a duel with Malfoy at midnight. Hermione overheard and tried to stop us from going, should have listened. It was a trap Draco and his bodyguards never showed up but Filch and Mrs. Norris did and we nearly got caught and if that was not scary enough wait till you see what I write next. As we ran away from Filch and his cat we ran into a door that was locked which Hermione unlocked for us with Alohomora. That was pretty brilliant actually, what was behind the door was not. When we heard Filch leave we turned around to see what room we were in and what do we come to face with a **THREE HEADED DOG!** It looked at surprised as we were good thing too or else we would have been dog food. So we did the only thing logical to do in that situation we screamed and ran back to Gryffindor. Surprised we did not wake up the whole castle. The Fat Lady was wondering we were out of bed but once we said the password she let us in without a word I wonder if she will tell McGonagall or Dumbledore. Speaking of McGonagall, did you know she can turn into a cat. I wonder if she wonders the halls like that and catches people out at night cause they think she is a person’s pet. That would be quite funny to see actually. Oops got off topic. I was talking about the three headed dog and how can Ron be snoring right now like we almost died. That reminds me Hermione said something like she was going to bed before Ron and I came up with another idea that would get us killed or worse expelled. Like I do not want to be expelled either, do not want to go back to the Dursley’s house, they would never let it go that I was expelled, probably would say that I was extra freaky even the magical world does not want me. And now I have made myself sad. However, I still think dying is worse. Oh we also figured out the dog is quarding something it was standing on a trap door. Maybe it is that Hogwart’s business Hagrid was talking about when we were in Gringotts. I just thought of something funny, later today Draco and his goonies are probably gonna be expect us being upset over getting caught they are gonna be so confused when Ron and I show up to the Great Hall laughing and no points gone from the Gryffindor hourglass.

          I do not want to go to sleep for two reasons. One, I will probably sleep through breakfast by accident and I want to see Draco’s surprised or maybe angry face. Two, I do not need my nightmares being worse because of a three headed dog **no thank you!** I have no idea what else to write maybe I will read a book, yea I think I will do that. Something useful. Anyway I will write later bye.


	16. Journal Entry 16

Dear Journal,

          Halloween!

          A day to be excited for because of all the food and floating pumpkins.  Maybe if I was not Harry Potter it would be fun and good.

          The day started off normal going to classes.  Ron was a bit annoyed that Hermione Granger corrected him and did the spell perfectly on the first try.  He said some mean things that I laughed at though I felt guilty for because I do not like bullying but I did not want to lose my first friend and I think she heard us as she hit me in the shoulder as she walked by.  That is where the day took a turn for the worst.

          We got to the Great Hall and the tables were awesome with all the food I think more than usual, definitely more desserts.  Hermione was missing from the Gryffindor table. Neville told us that he heard that she was in the first floor bathroom and crying I felt worse after that, I think Ron did too.  He made a pained face.  Then it just got worse,  Professor Quirrell ran in yelling about a troll in the dungeon everyone started screaming I was just shocked another bloody monster in the school.  Dumbledore made his voice louder with magic, wonder how he did that, anyway back to the main point, Dumbledore told us all to go back to our dormitories and for the teachers to go to the dungeons.  I just thought of something I heard that the Slytherin dorms are in the dungeons is it not more dangerous for them to go to their dormitories maybe the teachers escorted them when they were going down as well. Not that it mattered though.  Ron then whispered to me that Hermione did not know about the danger so we snuck away to the girls bathroom on the first floor to warn her and bring her back to the dorms.  But as we turned the corner we saw the shadow and smelled the troll, they smell horrible, the troll must have found the stairs and came up. Anyway we saw it walk into a room so we jumped towards it and shut the door and locked it until we heard the scream we looked at each other than the door and there it said girls bathroom, we locked the troll in with Hermione so dumb.  So we unlocked the door and ran in and started distracting the troll so Hermione could sneak away and out the door.  But it did not work, one because Hermione was scared frozen and two us throwing things at the troll just made him angry.  So I jumped on the troll why I did that I have no idea and the gross part was that my wand went in his nose I washed it so many times when I got back to my room.  The troll ended up grabbing me and tried to hit me with his club good thing he had horrible aim.  Ron with the help of Hermione then used the spell from earlier today to levitate the club above the troll which confused the troll and then dropped it on the trolls head.  That is when the teachers ran into the room and saw that we defeated a troll.  Ron and I got points for saving Hermione, Hermione lost points because she lied and told the teachers that she read about trolls and believed she could take care of it herself but would have been in trouble if Ron and I did not show up.  Her lying to teachers was weird.  She seems to be the type of person who respects adults and wants to be seen as good.  Professor Quirrell basically fainted at the sight of the troll but I thought I saw him look angry as well.  Confusing.  Snape had a cut on his leg wonder where he got that because it was not the troll we were with it since forever, maybe the three headed dog if so I wonder why he went there.  Too tired to think why but do not want to go to sleep now I am going to have a troll running through my dreams I need to find a way to not dream or to somehow control them to make them nice.

          I do not know if what I wrote makes sense.  I am so tired and so I don’t know scared, confused, excited I don’t know what I feel.  I think I am going to look through another one of my textbooks and maybe that will make me more sleepy and take my mind off things so that all I will dream about is potion making seems like the safest thing to dream about as long as Snape does not show up in it because then it will probably lead to the three headed dog.

          Write later bye!


	17. Journal Entry 17

Dear Journal,

          Sorry for not writing for so long I have been so busy.  We had our first Quidditch game against Slytherin.  Everything was going great until my broom decided to get a mind of its own.  I am still shaking from it.  It kept bumping every which way to try and get me off, it really reminded me of a horse now.  The Weasley twins were flying underneath me to try and catch me because every time they went near me the broom would go higher.  I think I want to learn how to fly without a broom when I am older that way if this happens again I am prepared.  I probably cannot learn it now because I am a beginner in magic but maybe in a few years I can start learning.  I was able to hold onto my broom and I saw the snitch as I got back on everyone was so confused that when they saw me going really fast towards the ground I think they thought my broom was still messed up.  I didn’t pull out of the dive fast enough so I ended up falling onto the pitch and you will not believe what happened.  I caught the snitch but with my mouth.  I almost swallowed it with the force of falling.  People were so confused it was so funny.  Marcus Flint captain of Slytherin called a redo cause I caught it in my mouth but there is no rule against that so we still won.

          After that we went to Hagrid’s hut.  Hermione and Ron were saying it was Snape cursing my broom but I do not know if I believe that, I could not see what was happening around me I was too busy holding onto the broom.  It could have been anyone.  Snape could have just been muttering about something who knows, I need more proof.  Hagrid accidentally told us that the three headed dog was his and his name is Fluffy.  Who names something that big Fluffy.  We also found an old newspaper talking about Gringotts being broken into.  I am pretty sure the vault they were talking about was the one Hagrid took something out of and the day connected with the day we went to Gringotts.  I wonder if that small thing is being guarded by Fluffy, it is the only thing that makes sense.  But why hide it in a school.  Seems a bit dangerous to have something hidden I a school where there are kids because people who want to steal it probably do not care for other people, maybe.

          Every time I go to sleep I worry about having nightmares even though the last two nights I have had none but I feel like a really bad dream will be coming soon though.


End file.
